“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .””
~ C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Just a year ago, I thought I was the only one scared about Climate Change, Peak Oil, resources depletion, ecosystems’ collapse, mismanagement of economics and social unfairness. I had read books and found websites, but the day-to-day reality showed me regular people still immerse in deeply unsustainable world. Even I was guilty (still am) of the same “normalcy”.
The problems, which seemed (and are) exponentially dangerous were (are) overwhelming. The pain, unbearable. For some time I couldn’t see babies or small children: I saw no future for them. The same happened with trees and animals. It was difficult to make choices: everything looked worthless in light of these big things.
Then I found Transition , and everywhere I saw great things were sprouting: regular people growing their food, joining CSA’s, talking about and applying Permaculture, moving away from consumption and heavy dependence on unsustainable systems…it was like a blessed unrest (as the book of same name paints )
Now I’m at a crossroads: I find myself stretched between a world that is changing and asks, expects, screams to me: “join, change, and engage deeply!” and a world that is dying but still expecting, even demanding that I stay put and continue working towards…destruction and pain, against all my values. One is an enslaving world, the next, liberating.
Why is so difficult to break free?
“Why do you stay in prison, when the door is so wide open?”
I went to a harvest celebration at a local farm yesterday. I could feel the calm of braiding garlic and separating quinoa and beans with total strangers who cared for the Earth and for people as I do. Then I felt a friendly hand touching my shoulder, I turned and I saw two dearest friends from my Transition group, Permaculture and the Food Action Coalition. My soul was relieved…
But as I’ve been doing many times recently, I felt this urge: living lightly, living simply, caring for what is truly important, doing with others, sprouting along with them.
“Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.”
Since last year, my own life has multiplied exponentially: I have met others with similar concerns. I have engaged in groups and meetings, I have started projects, taken up huge responsibilities. In a way, my life has become fuller, more complicated. I receive emails and blog-posts and requests every day. My days of quietly reading and music listening are over. I’m now split: half of me is in the fields and gardens, growing food, sharing or learning. The other half is still behind a desk in a closed building. Half of me is with new friends who seem old and dear as the world. The other half tries to make the connection between real old friends and family who are still living in this fantasy world of slaves, and this newly discovered true world.
Each time the crossroads is visible, I feel the pain. I’m in transition. From what is dying, killing and enslaving, to something that is emerging, full of life and liberating.
“Don’t wait any longer.
Dive in the ocean,
Leave and let the sea be you.”
Posted on October 6, 2013, in Balance Work and Life, Friendship, Life Changes, Life Choices, Permaculture, Reflections on an unsustainable world, Resilience, Resilient Living and Choices, Spiritual Journeys, Sustainable Living, Transition. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Inner Transition.